hi ya’ll…

i have been getting quite a few emails regarding questions on teaching your own art classes to girls. yes yes! i love this. it is SO fun and i encourage anyone who wants to do this to give it a whirl. if i can do it, so can you. trust me. it is not about formal training or having the fancy degrees. (i have neither) it is about being real and getting girls excited about creating. if you are excited, they will be too.

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so, does anyone have any specific questions? i will answer them the best i can in my next posting. i think it will be really fun to get a group together who want to do camps next summer..whether i do an online class or just end up using this space to do it. lets get more of us out there teaching the stuff we wish we would have learned as little girls.
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in other news-i am receiving the most beautiful care packages (for the shakti rising class) from you guys lately! wow! i will keep you posted and show you the final art packs when we are done. such a generous clan we have here. thank you.
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and lastly-this video by amanda just cracked me up. (and this one too. hillary art journaling and dropping the f-bomb made me accidently spit pink lemonade all over poor delilah) i discovered amanda and her videos through miss suzi blu and have been hooked ever since. enjoy!

since i have been posting so many of my students art journaling pages lately, i thought it was time to share some of my own! the one above i did last night and it felt SO GOOD to finally have a little playtime for myself. it was the first page i have done in over a month. i choose the treehouse because i am currently dreaming of an art-studio-treehouse for classes and for me. *sigh* how perfect would that be? a treehouse by the sea….

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i read on alex’s blog today about the importance of play. this is so true and i think it is easy to put play at the bottom of the to do list. i really liked how alex talked about scheduling playtime for yourself. i know a lot of moms are constantly arranging playdates for their kids-my question is, are you making time for you to play?

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all i have is a cranky cat to care for, so i do not know firsthand what it is like to be a mom and not have the time. i have heard a lot of stories from my friends who have kids, and i can imagine what the strain of giving all the time can do to one’s creative soul. i actually become angry and resentful if i go too long without personal playtime…resenting anything or one that is coming between me and my art goodies.

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of course really the only person standing in the way is me.

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some of my art journal pages:

as you can see, these are not fancy but they are fun. and fun is good. you want to have fun when you are playing…otherwise, what is the point?

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i have found that getting messy with my journal-coloring outside the lines, having things go out and up and basically just breaking the rules of what you are “supposed” to do with a journal really helps loosen me up. when i try too hard, or put pressure on myself to make something “pretty” or useful (like to sell, or a gift) i start judging my work, getting crabby, and then hating the outcome.

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but this, this i like. i feel like they are accurate pieces of me and where i was in the moment i created them.  some people do yoga to feel present, some run. i art journal.

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in spirit of this, i created a few art journal kits for my etsy shop. they were really fun to put together and include many of my favorite art materials.

you get a lot of cool stuff here, including a moleskin art journal. (which is what i use)

i think my favorite thing is these little stamps on colored cardstock. i love gold stamping. how cute is that elephant??

i also LOVE this goldfish paper. it is super soft to touch. i think i am going through a goldfish phase. all i want to paint is goldfish.

i also put my rock postcards on sale. they are a great price and need good homes! (lets just say i got a little ambitious when ordering them)

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in support all of you artists out there…the ones that are doing it, the ones that are thinking about doing it, the ones that really want to do it but are having a hard time beginning…my message to you today is to just start. start small and start simple, and go from there.

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and play. always always always play.
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there are no more art journals left in my etsy shop but if you want one i can do a few more….email me at mccabe@dancingmermaid.com.

do i have any art-journaling-mermaid-readers near wilmington, north carolina? that is my hometown and i am in talks of doing a workshop there the first weekend in november. i would love to meet some of you! let me know.

7 art camps, 54 art journals, 5 containers of mod podge, 15 tubes of glitter glue, one cat with indigo paint on her paws, one very patient boyfriend, 9 trips to rhino art and i AM DONE.

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i really have not had the time or energy to do much else this summer. this was almost like giving birth to a deeper self…all focus was put into figuring out this new eclectic life i have created. there were many days where i thought there is no way i am going to make it, i am in over my head….but i did it imperfectly anyway. and i feel kinda proud.

if nothing else, i have learned this summer the importance of doing what you love. even on bad days-even when i was trying to explain the law of attraction and the class was more interested in gathering around a new pile of poop that the dog had left, i knew i was trying. i knew i had stopped hiding behind jobs that did not serve me. i knew that it was all part of the process.

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you see, i am learning how to play by my own rules-and that i work most authentically when i make it up as i go along.

i never really knew what i wanted to be when i grew up. i always loved kids so teaching and childcare related jobs seemed practical for me-and yet, there was always something missing. even in the most liberal of schools-i was the teacher who stuck out. who did not fit. i never fit in at high school either. by college i learned how to blend but the feeling of being different-and-not-in-a-good-way never faded. (no matter how much beer i consumed, and it was a lot) because of this i was filled with self doubt and suffered from low self esteem. i always wanted to show some improved version of myself instead of my real self. i never knew there was another way.

now i know there is another way. there is something i can do-art with kids. with girls. it feels odd to admit that. i never really thought i was good at anything before. i never had a niche.

perhaps my niche is simply allowing others to be themselves and providing a space for it, with art supplies as an added bonus.  this seems easy and natural to me. come to think of it, i have been doing this off the clock for years. the only difference now is that i get paid for it.

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these amazing little girls have given me so many gifts….unconditional love, for one. i take them seriously and they take me seriously. that is another gift.  i had a girl from one of my older classes-emma, help out with the little girls this week. i overheard a child complain, “everyone is COPYING me!!!” and then i heard emma’s sweet voice say, “we don’t like to say copied, we like to say inspired….”

i don’t really have an official tribe but if i did these chickies would be it. they are magic. my magic.

i have wanted to do something like this for 7 years. yep, it took me that long to get some balls and just go for it. i tell you this so you may see the full picture here. it seems as if it all fell in my lap-and in a strange way it did…but only after i took that leap of faith. all that talk of opening up new channels when you rid of the crap and clutter in your life, turns out its true. who knew?

i know there are others out there. those deep feelers who always felt they were a little too different from their peers, who maybe felt an isolation or a thread of loneliness because of it. the ones who did not find their “career” choice in college, (nothing looked interesting to me either) the ones who felt the joke was a bit harsh and cynical. this feeling-i really do believe this with all my heart-is a GIFT. the gift that all too often gets beaten out of us by the media and the pressure to be a “grown-up” and realistic.

don’t let them pressure you, the ones who forgot about the magic. the world needs the light bearers now more than ever.

there is not only a place for EVERYONE in the creative world, but a special room for you, too. please take your own ideas seriously. please trust me when i tell you how important your vision is, not only to the world at large but to yourself.

i am not saying you have to quit your day job or turn your life upside down. (hey i can be dramatic) i am just encouraging you to listen to yourself…

and to listen to your dreams…you know the dream i am talking about-the one that keeps nagging, the one that sneaks up on you unexpectedly until you have to say,  “you again? i thought i had outgrown you.” what if you followed that voice’s directions? how would your quality of life improve?

the children, they know. they know even if it is not taught on a daily basis. they know because the vibration of truth is clear to them-they are still innocent. i trust their voice.

it has been so lovely to share this special summer with you, dear readers. i feel like you are a big part of this experience. thank you for cheering me on!

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i would like to gift you back with this space, with my story, in hopes that it will inspire you to pursue your own dreams and ideas. not only do i believe more strongly in my own dreams now, but i believe in yours, too.

dream big, folks. and then come over here to tell me about it.

it is official-ellie and delilah are now friends. delilah’s first animal friend! (that we know of) ellie lives in the cottage behind us and is the sweetest, most gentle being you will ever meet. like delilah, she had a rocky past and is slow to trust. in a way they are kindreds, two souls that got a second chance at love.

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ellie is very, very shy and timid, and delilah is, well delilah.  for months there have been stare downs and a little hissing. however, this summer something has changed.

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ellie has started coming over everyday. this was an animal that usually runs up the stairs when she sees someone coming. but, she has gotten so much braver! one day i was taking a nap and heard something in the living room. (which is 3 feet from the bedroom, by the way) i look up and see this:

ellie just let herself in for a visit. surprisingly delilah just sat there with me, unfazed and uninterested.

she opened her eyes half-way for a minute with her stoney look, gave ellie the once over and then went back to sleep. delilah has become totally cool with ellie cruising in and out now with no drama. she has accepted ellie as part of our crew. so cute!

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i have never had such an attachment to animals as i do to these sweet peas. they bring such a sense of peace and love that fills me to the brim. it feels really full and healing.
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i am also seeing so clearly how love transforms. these are beings that were hurt in some way, and through lots of love their confidence has soared as well as their view of the world.  ellie’s sweet owner said one day, “she is a whole new dog!” she is. she has learned that love does in fact exist and there is much to go around.

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if this is what love can do to an animal, imagine what self love can do to you. i think about this a lot.

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you know, being around kids so much i get asked a lot, “do you have kids?” when i say no there is often an awkward silence, and i feel the need to say something. (and i am learning that i don’t need to fill the silence, wink) i have often caught myself saying, “no, i just have a cat.” just a cat? that is such an understatement. this little ball of soft fuzz has taught me so much about love and what is important, and i do not in any way wish her to be anything other than what she is-my baby….no matter how unconventional or silly that may seem to some.

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the truth is, i never thought i was a “cat person” or a “dog person” but that was before i met ellie and delilah. they have transformed me too. i did not know how much an animal could change your life.

and your heart too, of course….

do you have any animal healing stories? please share.

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ps ellie does not usually dress up. this is her one special outfit. she is usually more casual.

i have recently hooked up with a wonderful kindred named jenny (hi jenny) and shakti rising to do a very special project. shakti rising is a sacred, healthy place for young women to go who need help. (eating disorders, depression…)  it is spiritually based and just an all around beautiful space to go and heal.

something i thought i could offer the women is art journaling.  the little girls i teach wanted to be involved as well, so we are making buckets full of painted magic rocks to sell. with the money we raise, we are going to purchase art journals and make “art packs” for the women taking the class. that way, they will have supplies to continue to journal if they (hopefully!) become inspired by the class. some of the little girls will come along with me to teach the class with the big girls. i am really excited to watch them become empowered with their own magic.

here is where you can help-art supply donations! some of you artsy chicks may even have stuff laying around already. (like me) we need to make 13 packs total.

things that could be put in art packs:

decorative paper, fabric scraps, ribbon, buttons, stickers, hole punchers, paint (any kind), rub-ons, tissue paper, pretty images/cut-outs, letter cut-outs, crayons, oil pastels, beads, glitter and glittery things, fun pens, colored pencils, stencils, stamps, etc.

any donation, big or small, is greatly appreciated and will change a girls life for the better. please email me at mccabe@dancingmermaid.com if interested.

i seem to lose track of me so easily. it usually happens quick when i am off guard or faced with aggression. i get flattened out by the waves. i forget to swim.

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i am learning again and again to return to that peaceful place when overwhelm suddenly hits. its like a pulling back and then landing softly. a slow letting go of outside so i can hear the inside.
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watercolor crayons, copper lace ribbon, silver square letter beads, bright blue golden paint-i have started keeping certain art supplies in an old wood champagne box with a brassy gold latch. i needed something that was just for me without (self-created) pressure to share during class and art dates. i remember my mother having her own special coloring book and crayons. i think this helps heaps.
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there are a handful of items in there that i haven’t even used yet-new set of stamps, a black and white postcard from the 70s i found at a thrift shop. i see this box starting to overflow. the lid barely closes. this seems like a good sign.

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i want to discover who i am just being. it feels like up to this point i had been depositing most of my energy into all i could do. i want to get to know the girl who is just me-no strings attached or need to save the day.
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i am learning how to be my own friend. i never gave myself the opportunity to do this before. like any new relationship, some parts still feel really uncomfortable.

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but, i feel like the more i master this, the more relaxed i am going to be when i get knocked off balance.

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i like the idea of becoming solid and whole. soft and peaceful.

its makes me feel like i can do anything.

i have really been struggling these last few weeks on “being enough.” so, in light of a different perspective, i am going to use this space today to list what i am brave at. i invite you to do the same…either in the comment section, your blog, your personal journal, etc.

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i am brave. i am.

i am brave because i leave spaces and things that no longer serve me. i look towards the bigger picture and let my heart lead me. i am brave because i leap even when i am scared shitless. and i get scared. a lot.

i am brave because i teach little girls to art journal. i am brave because i worry less about “the product” and focus more on bringing magic. i am brave because i show them my less than shiny parts-so they know we all feel these things. i am brave because i tear out pages in old books to paint and cut. i am brave because i so deeply trust this process.

i am brave because i let myself crash out everyday after work with delilah. i am brave because i am learning to know my limits of what i can and cannot do. i am brave because sometimes “good enough” is MORE than enough.

we lay like this for hours….

i am brave because i have decided to not take things personally anymore. (yes i read the 4 agreements years and years ago but it has taken this long to really sink in.) i am brave because i am learning to focus on what is and not what is not. i am brave because i allow others to be themselves. i am brave because i do not do this perfectly but can feel and see the difference in my life since i have made this decision.

i am brave because i have stopped saying yes all the time. i have more time for me. i am brave because i no longer spend all my energy complaining about what is so wrong in my life. i am brave because i do not do this perfectly either but at least the voice that says “are you sure this is what you want?” is louder than “but what if that is not okay?”

i am brave because i am starting to embrace my oddness. i don’t do groups well. i would rather sit home with tea and the kitty or make art with a kindred. i am brave because i have (this does not include the week before my peroid) stopped trying to fit in so much and be normal. i am brave because i make my own rules now. rules that work better with who i am.

i am brave because i am learning to wing it.

i am brave because i am a compassionate friend.

i am brave because i am kind to strangers.

i am brave because i can admit that i probably eat those little german gummies bears every other day. or everyday.

i am brave because i inspire others to be themselves.

i am brave because i am learning to be gentle.

i am brave because i just am. and so are you.

we called these rock families and “rockers.” i gave the kids some googly eyes and stickers and let them go to town. the dudes above are by 4 year old kaylee. i had to laugh out loud when i walked by and saw she even put eyes on her name rock. little ones go wild for  anything 3d they can glue on themselves. big girls like it too.

if it does not make you happy, then why are you doing it?

who are you doing it for?