(above: abigail rae, who has no trouble asking for what she needs.)
it seems like everyone i know needs some kind of help and no one is willing to ask for it. and might i add these are the some of the biggest givers i know. so whats going on?
why is no asking for what they need?
answers i have recently collected:
-i would be too much trouble
-don’t want to put anyone out
-pride/i can do it myself
-i can’t ask
i put myself in this clump. i hate, hate asking for any kind of help. i go through a list of why i should not ask reasons before i ask life altering questions like “could you help me move my tv from here to 5 feet over there?” usually i wait until i have had some sort of meltdown until i reach out, until captain jack has dragged an entire uneaten chicken (bones and all) out of the trash and dragged it around the house. when i have a headache and am out of groceries and forgot to drink enough water for the day. until i am crying on the kitchen floor with chicken bones and unwashed dishes and i realize i don’t have that one person to call anymore. until realizing that i need new people, a new system.
my neighbor/friend mentioned the other day that her dog got out again and im all hey why didnt you call me i was home…how often do you find yourself saying that to friends after they explain some incident that you could have easily assisted with? because i find myself saying that a lot lately, and i have noticed that people are saying the same to me.
it does not take much. i finally started telling people that i feel edgy at night and am not quite adjusted to living alone and guess how many people offered to text or stop by when this happened? (i totally appreciate this way more than people know. and i have also gotten to know my rad next door neighbors due to this confession)
you see where i am going with this. just f-ing ask already. you who watches your friends kids when someone clearly needs a break. you who introduces everyone by their best qualities. you who brings chicken soup over when a friend is sick. people want to give to YOU because you do so much for others. we want to help in small and big ways because the things you do make a difference and we all want to be a part of that energy.
people are not mind readers. im guessing that there is something right now you need help with and are hesiating. i encourage you to reach out today.
besides, most people like to help.