gray.
no one really tells you this
but its called june gloom
here in southern california.
nevermind the other
11 months
of geological perfection
one becomes spoiled
in paradise
and the overcast sky
plays tricks on my heart.
i still get messages
from him
meet me on the hill
by the dunes
(top of the world i called it)
you were high on god knows what
and i was high
on being 19 and a dreamer.
we pinky promised
not to become cynics
and to do things in this
world that matter
&i am pretty sure
my poems
and your songs
are spinning randomly in the space
between the lighthouse
and my old cottage with funny
rocking chairs on the deck that i painted a different color
everytime my mood changed.
i look around here
for something to paint over-
the stool? (no, i have to sit on it to work today)
the cabinet in the bathroom? (no, i like the baby blue)
the front door? (no wait. i don’t own this cottage either)
the mundane
is my worst enemy
and i wish i could be
satisfied
with the ordinary
sometimes
instead of craving
crazy magic
in every moment
like some sort of addict
good lord
i am a pile
of peeled paint chips
a heap of contradictions
heavily flawed
and wildly hopeful.
i try to find
color
in the dark
entertainment
in the
ho-hum
grainy and unpredictable
are the seasons
of my days.



30 Comments so far
Leave a comment
and i wish i could be
satisfied
with the ordinary
sometimes
THAT is perfectly said…I feel this daily. Seems like life would be easier, but then again, I kinda like the magic.
By Jodi on 06.23.11 11:54 am
I see such love and growth and hope .. and yes, the magic of you in your words
I love you, always
By lynne on 06.23.11 11:56 am
You are beautiful.
Remember that.
By Carrie on 06.23.11 3:27 pm
powerful words
By Robin on 07.02.11 5:11 pm
<3 <3 <3
love.
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miss you here. hope you’re doing well. xoxo
By bee on 07.22.11 8:11 am
“and i wish i could be
satisfied
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sometimes
instead of craving
crazy magic
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like some sort of addict”
I love these words!
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