evidence of a good day.

i have not always been this way.
i have more ocd tendencies than i can count.

i am learning to beat them
to the punch.
the triggers. those damn triggers.

whenever i try to control something that
is out of my control
i get all high strung and freakish over the dumbest things.
like cobwebs.

the irony is that my teaching style
is completely opposite of this.

when i teach, it is like the best
part of me steps up.

the part of me that is free.

this mingling with the
demons does have its time and purpose-
i believe in the balance
of light and dark.

but when it gets to be too much-

god, i get so fucking sick
of their tune.
its old.
it makes me feel bad.

and most of all-it keeps me from my JOY
one of my core values is joy.

funny how when you go against who you really are
your body immediately reacts.
(depression, anxiety, etc..)

my gremlins are starting to feel like
an ex-boyfriend who i think of occasionally
but really have no desire to sleep with anymore.

the zing is gone.
zip.

at this place in my life,
i would really like to make up for all the
days i kept myself from having fun
because i was too focused on the bad stuff.

i want adventure.
i want color.
i want cowgirl boots in every shade.

and also,
i really want a champagne bike ride.

(my new favorite song from monster paws:)

8 Comments so far

My inner demons have been creeping is as well. I love how you compare them to an ex boyfriend…that is so how I am feeling. I want fun as well. Lets kick those demons to the curb together.

Thanks for this post today, I really needed it.

Do you have any idea how precious your words are to me on This Very Day?
Thank you.
And Blessings.

Your words are right on!!! Than you so much for writing them here.

i love you.

YES to JOY!! I love you!

Why don’t you have a look on the Sheplers website? They have cowgirl boots in most colours x I have a coffee and Magenta pair and I got them shipped to the UK for a very good price xx You don’t have OCD, It doesn’t have you x

“at this place in my life,
i would really like to make up for all the
days i kept myself from having fun
because i was too focused on the bad stuff.”

I am focused on the bad stuff right now…affairs & separation do it…but man oh man do i want to let the happiness in again…

…so i get this… thank you mccabe,
WRO x

Are you serious, why did you delete my last article I know that it was a modest crazy but come on.

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evidence of a good day.

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