just be from mccabe russell on Vimeo.

the universe has a great sense of humor. as soon as i write about not wanting to hear anybody else’s advice, all these wispy like petals of wisdom came floating in with spring. well fuck. nevermind.

maybe it is the balance i try to find. there is a part of me that needs to stay grounded and not mix up my energy with others. its the same part that so passionately wants to hear and believe in my own voice.

then there is the other part that is as wide open as a dreamy child. the adult part of me is learning to keep this openness while still having healthy boundaries. i stumble.

i sure as heck do not have the hang of it, but there are things that i notice that make sense. like, close-mindedness seems to lead to bitterness. i don’t want to be bitter. call me a naive, fine. but bitterness is a sad, rigid world i don’t want to live in.

the beauty of openness, i think, is like unwrapping presents. remember when you were young with all your friends circling around you as you opened your birthday presents. no matter how nicely they were wrapped, you had no idea what was going to be inside. and it was fun, even if you got a six pack of white socks. the not knowing can be exciting.

this past week i found all these tiny gifts arriving, from the most unexpected places. conversations with people where a little voice in me said, this is important, listen to what they have to say.

it is natural for me to be open, but not as natural to just be. just being means (to me, anyway) not rushing to fill the silence or coming up with an answer. just being means not making anything be other than it is in that moment.

i would really love to be a better listener. some of the wisest people i know are really good listeners.

i am humbled.

a new friend said me the other day, ” everything just IS. the more you try to DO, the less you ARE. nothing is bad or good. it just IS.”

those are words that fall nicely on my soul.