lets talk about feeling stuck

innervoice

i was chatting with a friend yesterday, and it came up how we were both feeling stuck. both of us in deep transition, all the little things started to piling up into big things and then came the big S otherwise known as S H A M E.

yep, the shame factor. did you know that of all the emotions, shame is the lowest vibrating feeling? it pulls you down and under. it puts a big black damp blanket of fog over everything, which creates an illusion of panic.

the funny thing about my conversation yesterday is that both my friend and i were being incredibly hard on ourselves-something we could easily and gently point out to one another. upon further investigation-my friend had started to put together a book (60 pages worth of writing and photos) and i confessed that i had an exciting collaboration with someone i really admired.

clearly we were both doing something right.

here is the thing though-in the sandpit of shame, panic, and frozen fear, the positive does not stand a chance when you are giving so much power to the lower vibrating states of emotion. fear feeds off more fear. fear can make you feel helpless.

so what do you do?

you move.

sounds simple doesn’t it. but damn fear is a mother f-er and often it is not that easy. i was talking to my doctor a few weeks ago about my anxiety attacks-moving out of my safe little cottage, a break-up, leaving the sea, my animals, ah-for a girl who clings to stability like a crazy woman this all is a lot. when my doctor asked about my future plans, i lit up and told him all my ideas but confessed i was procrastinating because i was scared shitless. with this statement he clapped his hands together and said, “mccabe! without growth, there is no movement, and when there is no movement, you might as well be dead!”

now. if this had been delivered by anyone other than my sweet little budda spiritually healing doctor, i may have been a little offended. but it came out so kindly that it sunk in. you might as well be dead. yeah, feeling stuck in fear feels exactly like being dead. he had a point.

i offer no solutions here, as i admit i have been hiding out eating cherry twizzlers more than i have been taking the necessary steps to make my dreams happen. however, confessing these stuck places to a few trusted, non-judgmental friends has given the shame much less power. (yeah, you are not such a bad ass now in the light are you shame, are you?) even justin said so gently last night, “it takes a lot of strength to ask for help.”

its baby steps folks. its not beating your spirit to a pulp. its naming the mean gremlins and then telling them to f off. its sharing with each other where we need some extra tlc.

a little movement goes a long way to the tired ego. today, for me, it was about doing all the laundry, and bringing 2 bags of clothes to goodwill. that felt good.

feel free to share your stuck places here too. i won’t judge them! promise. lets give those clever gremlins a shove into the light.

fear does not respond well to sunshine,
from what i hear.

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nicely said. i’ve been pondering dreams and fear a bit lately. what’s holding me back.. i can’t decide if i’m more scared of failure.. or of not knowing what might happen next if my dreams do come true. the familiar feels safe (but not super sparkly) some days. thank you for sharing your wise words.

This sounds like my posts on being Scared Shitless, Kicking Fear in the Nuts and Dark Places all in one! Sheesh are we ever soul sisters or what? You are so awesome and thank you for writing this. It makes me feel less crazy and scared knowing that you are going through the same thing! MUCHOS hugs, Andrea

Stuck, indeed. I just sighed along with this post. We are stuck *inside* a big movement – after moving countries and me finding work, we are still stuck lodging with family until we both have work, so we fulfill landlords desires of two salaries. So I feel all this shame of being 31 and living at home, albeit only temporarily. It makes me feel sick and as though I want to hide :/ Now I shall say tomorrow morning, as we awaken, that we just gotta keep on moving! Thank you for creating this wonderful space… Happy moving to you xo

scared? afraid? YES! stuck. sometimes. alot.

i made a vision board last week. all of the wonderful things in my life ~ are on that board. 4 categories.

1. my new house: i don’t have a fucking clue HOW, but i AM going to but this house. I AM. I AM. I FUCKING AM!!! ~and when I do, those who have TRIED with all their might to ruin me & hold me back…can EAT ME!!!

2. ME: healthy, happy, yoga, water, eating clean…

3. my kids: happy, healthy, joyful, free, light, & FULL of LOVE.

4. my art, my business: 4 art classes a week, 1 women’s class a month, and one art show a month!

lofty goals ~ but, they will NEVER happen, unless i say them, SEE THEM, BELIEVE in them!!!

I LOVE YOU mCcABE!!!

xoxoxo.
e.

Have you read the book by Brené Brown, I Thought It Was Just Me? It’s a brilliant book about overcoming shame. I highly recommend it.

Who is it that shames us most? WE do it to ourselves. We are hardest on ourselves because that’s where we are. Let’s make a pact to live in the world with all it’s unknowns…it is not as scary as the world we create in our own minds. Free yourself from this mind-trip and you no longer have fear…just curiosity and experience…your very own existence. We need to stop judging ourselves. That’s where so much of our fear comes from. It’s all a construction…not real. What’s real is what is in front of you…movement puts something new in front of you constantly…a good thing for a mind set on judging and shaming the spirit. I love you, M.

you put into words what i do not. and your words move me forward.

Sigh…exactly. Thank you for this. You are healing light.

Shame has been my sad focus for me today. I’m going to email you ~
Thanks so much for being YOU.

Much love,

crafting like crazy all of the worship bulletins for friday & trying not to feed the fear that others will think i’m childish, irreverant–oh wait i am! ha! but still a bit afraid of what folks will think of all of my glitter stars crayoned hearts. drawing strength from the mermaids xx

I so appreciate this post on fear and ’tis true that one of the great antidotes to fear is to just move! Do something, anything, even sweep the floor, or take a bath, or pull a weed or two. Anything to shift the energy because it is, as you say, a very low vibration. So interesting, I just posted a meditation for Navigating Fear on my blog today. Perhaps it will speak to you or some of your readers. Blessings all around!

Hi McCabe -

Where can I email you? I have a question….

Thanks!

Nikoline/Inga

read this mermielove ~

http://www.11photographs.com/blog/2009/09/11/thebridgeislove/

xoxo

you are brave and wonderful for saying all that the rest of us dare not…..
love and hugs
Tracie

stuck, yes.
afraid, yes.
fearing all the changes taking place, yes.
looking for a rewind button to a time where things were so much better, yet i still complained, yes.
trying but not doing enough, yes.
and so much more…..

but capable? certainly.

Bawling… completely needing to move.. to move anything! my dresser, the dishes around, my lawn furniture, to a different city.. I am afraid too. what if? I hate the effing ‘what if’s'! I too am at a place where there needs to be growth with my writing, with my love for myself, for others, to be okay that what i thought was love was just a broken angry man who so desperately needs growth and love and it’s not me that can give it to him. it has to start with him. I feel helpless that he cant receive it. I feel better voicing this… i feel empowered that it is out in the open even if it is silly sounding.
thank you M. I feel a little lighter and freer to be messy ol’ me.
xoxox

Perfect. Thank you. ‘nuf said.

Yeah! I was spiritually cheering you and me and all of us on as I read this beautiful post! Yes! Yes! Yes! Thank you for writing this! This business of being authentic is not for the weak of heart!

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lets talk about feeling stuck

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