DancingMermaid » the not knowing

happiness_tessie

there seems to be a theme going on with myself and so many friends around me…we all seem to be thriving in some areas and then completely panicked in others. is this you too? read on.

one thing i have been playing close attention to is my all-or-nothing-mentality. an old pattern of mine is wanting to jump ship the minute i get triggered or overwhelmed because dear god if i don’t its all going to crap.

i am trying to reclaim these little triggers and turn them into gifts. because really, isn’t anything that provides us with insight the best gift we can receive? i can’t think of anything that would be more valuable to our hearts and spirits.

ah, but these “gifts” don’t usually come wrapped in pretty ribbon with matching tissue paper. they come late to the party. uninvited and unannounced. (the nerve)

it is so easy to take a bad day and run with it. easy to dwell on the thing that is not working and dismiss the many blessings that already exist.

3peas

this is the all or nothing mentality i am talking about. the blowing up of the bad so the small sprinkles of goodness don’t stand a chance. i speak completely from personal experience.

i am not an expert in human growth. i make the same mistakes over and over. i sometimes let the gremlins in to play.

but i am beginning to accept that i don’t know how the story will end. and maybe the magic is right there in the not knowing-out of reach like a lovely piece of fruit growing on a vine outside my window while i sleep.

the comparing and competing and rushing all makes me very tired and cranky. the slowness calms me. the sharing and exploring. small unexpected moments of connection at the post office or free flower stand. this is what grounds me. all the other stuff i can’t control.

so if you are feeling stuck, or lost or hopeful or scared~take comfort in the fact that you are not alone. our questions and fears connect us as much as our joy and happiness.

this, i know to be true.

peace_harry

13 Comments so far

doesn’t the script change over and over!!
thanks for sharing.
xo

Mccabe- you are not alone at all. I have read and re-read this post- as it is so imortant for me to remember…. thank you!!

we are all connected

you know in your heart it will all work out…hold on to that feeling deep down. Here is a quote i found by nobel laureate Seamus Heaney: …the ability to start out upon your own impulse is fundamental to the gift of keeping going upon your own terms, not to mention the more fulfilling gift of getting started all over again–never resting upon the oars of success or the doldrums of disappointment…Getting started, keeping going, getting started again–in art and in life…this is the essential rhythym….XXOXOXOXOXOOX

I so get this!! Thank you for reminding me know I am not alone…it truly is comforting being connected. Exhale. xoxo, ~ M.

ah yes… actually just how I have been feeling for the past two days.

I am in the middle of packing up my life in order to move to another state and start a whole new adventure.

Though I am thoroughly excited about the prospect of starting this new adventure, I am also scared silly — and the panic, in the form of inertia, hit me hard two days ago — I had been charging through my to do list and making progress and then I hit the wall.

Now I must finish sorting and packing tomorrow … but I am feeling slightly renewed and your post helped… a lot!

Thanks, as always, you are a treasure!

thank you

A wonderful awareness on a dreary day …

In my attempt to take my yoga and live it “off the mat” I have strived to do my best, to do my “work” but to let go of attachment to a notion of a particular outcome. That always seemed impossible until I realized I was not to let out of wanting an outcome, but rather to receive the outcome that the Universe sends me as a Gift. Sometimes that gift is like the crazy tooled leather purse my crazy aunt gave me one Christmas (now I would probably love it … I think it had flowers and mushrooms on it) but often the gift or the outcome is beyond anything I could have imagined for myself. It may not be what I wanted, but is always what I needed … even when that is painful (it usually prompts growth.)

Glad to know I have company on this crazy journey

how’d u get to be so smart? i am sooooooooooo with you on this! it’s all in the moment, the little stuff, the here & now, a kiss from a pet, a hug from a child~ NOT sweatting the small stuff~ or even the BIG stuff that we can’t or don’t NEED to control!
LOVE&hugs~
e.

forgot to add…I just REALLY love this! XO

Your inner being is shining thru my little mermaid friend. I read a lil quote when I was young that said ‘Life is not a dress rehersal’ It seems we all forget to Live Laugh Love and let the rest melt away. Thanks for keepin my ass in check these past weeks. Girl, I couldnt of done it withoutcha! I think you maybe channeling OB1 Kenobi. May the force be with us! Peace out Angie

amen, sister.

Lovely. I couldn’t agree more. And I SO needed to hear this right now.

When one is in the throes of loneliness and isolation, it’s difficult to feel connected to anyone – even though EVERYONE feels lonely and isolated somtimes. It’s important to realize that always, the connections are there, and are seamless.

(And, I wish there were a free flower stand around here. Hmm…maybe I’ll start one. xo

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the not knowing

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