DancingMermaid » self lovin

self lovin

there was a time in my life where
i would abandon myself at the first sight
of stormy waters.

like a shitty day,
or a harsh word,
or a disappointment of some sort.

i often indulged in the unpleasant things-
practically had them over for dinner…
because it just made more sense
that i deserved more bad than good.

it was just where i felt more comfortable
at that time.

luckily, these days it feels more authentic and natural
to walk towards the good stuff
when life throws me lemons.

like the beautiful man
and the cranky cat
my sweet faced little students
my tiny space for creating
bins full of art goodies
friends with compassionate ears
and arms full of love
good health days
my quirky cottage
my job
and being able to visit
the sea every day.
you know, things i should not take for granted
but sometimes do.

i know it is an effort to make this shift,
especially if you have been caught in a
web of despair for so long…

but it does get a bit easier
each time,
and i would like to offer some
hope to anyone who feels like
things are never going to change.

its not like i am a pro,
there are plenty of days i find it tempting
to bury myself in a pile of negativity…

but, the truth is,
i have way more good days than bad,
and really believe that under all my bullshit
and messiness that
i am still a good person.

so are you.
we all do the best we can
with what we know and have.

ok, so i don’t say
“i love you,” to myself every day…
however, i can now say
without blushing or giggling
that i am a pretty cool chicka.
and for me this is
a huge, huge improvement…

28 Comments so far
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I love you and think you are AWESOME! Lots of things you write are things that I am thinking to myself. It feels good to know that someone else gets it. Thanks. I also have a little question. What kind of art classes do you teach? Where I live there is very little artistic opportunity for anyone, especially the little kiddos. Since I have recently left my hateful job of ten years and am slowly refinding my path I have thought much about teaching art classes for kids. Maybe just summer classes or something?? Could you maybe give me some ideas of what you do or something along those lines? I would appreciate it forever!

wow…what a blessing to have the good days outweigh the tough ones!

i love that line…that we do the best we can with what we know and have…its sooo true! hard to remember at the time…but really puts it all in perspective!

thanks for this lovely post!

thanks * i needed this today * i’ve been beating up on myself for being ‘not enough’ for a few days and i’d got into a hole i was struggling to get out of.

thanks for showing me some light

Thanks for hitting my nail on the head.. just about each and everyday, I read your blog and find inspiration and something that resonates and makes me cry or laugh or sigh… Thanks for being that mermaid by the sea that I can visit from time to time. Lots of love for you and yours…:)

Bravo, sister. xo

You my dear have been an angel for the last few days - writing things that I just really needed to hear. I’m going through a tough time these days and my self-esteem has taken a beating. So thank you Much love to you beautiful!!!

Just making this shift is a revelation- from despair to gratefulness. Doing this has changed you and I am learning from you- thank you for being open enough to share this process with me and all of us.

Yesterday I talked to a friend- she’s like a sister- who had always felt unworthy- I told her she’s worthy and loved. If she did nothing extraordinary again, she was worthy. Academics are driven folks and she is no different-always proving our worth. She cried and I realized how much she needed to hear what I had said. We are all worthy. (I just wanted to share, b/c I knew you would get it.) (((hugs)))

yes, mccabe, you really are one pretty cool chica. i love the things you write here, the way you think about things, the way you look out into the world and inside yourself.

i, too, am moving into a place of it feeling more authentic and natural to walk toward good things these days than to push myself down into a cruddy hole, which has often been my usual way.

and i totally agree that all of us are doing the best we can with what we have. even people who hurt us are really only doing the best they can with what they have. this, when i remember it, begins to make forgiveness more real in my life.

thanks, as always, for your beautiful life.

[…] this post by dancing mermaid, reminding me to not be so hard on myself […]

delicious.

mccabe, i feel so blessed to have come across your blog. everytime I come here you have posted something that seems like it is speaking just to me. reminding me that i’m not alone and i can change things. mccabe, you absolutely and completely rock!!!

Why do fabulous women like ourselves deny ourselves light and joy so often? Thank you for this post. I needed to hear it, this morning especially.

Hey cool chicka! So many of us do lose sight of how truly fabulous we are…thankfully though it’s not so difficult to find the path back…
to self-love…and to the beautiful words floating out of a mermaid’s cottage door by the sea…:)

Love and light to you McCabe!
xo

you are a very cook chika and so am i and so are so many of us its wonderful to be grateful for what we have and to realize that our lives are good and our joy there if we want to take it … much love you beautiful cool talented artistic stylin chicka xo

um that would be cool not cook, heh heh

But of course you are a cool chicka…you cannot be anything else…totally cool!

Thanx Mccabe…talking from your heart to ours…makes most of us feel extremely loved…and extra special! xx

I hear you.
I relate.
Thank You for your open, honesty words.

Self love? Oh Mccabe, honey, that’s just pointing a loaded gun in my direction. Or battery operated apparatus of lurve.

* rocks back and forth * I will behave, I will behave, I will behave.

Love you my dear.

*giggle* you ARE a cool chicka!! And I loved this post - it’s nice to read how you are beginning to fit into your life so well. Beautiful!!!!

you are also quite groovy and deserve to look at yourself with LOVE - big fat huge LOVE every day!

LOVE!

Hi McCabe,

You are such an inspiration. Your photography is beautiful and I can always relate to your words. Thank you for having this site!

Hope all is well with you!

Love,

Anne-Marie

you are a super cool chicka, mccabe.
with love,
gem

amen sista amen!!

xoxo

like i said, you are a MAGICAL ROCKSTAR! thanks for sharing your heart in such a way it opens ours up to see what is in there. such a gift.

great photo, by the by

the perfect love letter to read before bedtime.

goosebumps.
thank you…

our monthly rocks made it today for may!

* glow *
and
f u n

just knowing a magicalmermaid is thinking of us
makes life a bit happier

xxoo
nicoletta & margo

Perfect! I’ve been reflecting lately on the years when I was married and my kids were young. I had not a clue about self-care & loving me. Oh my, how different my life would have been ~
At least I’m aware now and your words are a beautiful reminder.
xo

it does get easier as we walk towards the good stuff…holing your hand (knowing). xo

And lemons just need a squeeze!

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self lovin

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